didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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