I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
