I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
