Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We left the knife in your bed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
