No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize