I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
