AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
