every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
they need to just BURY HIM!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
