he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
