kristin has been a bad kristin
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
being pregnant is like rehab
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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