My first STD was from a foam party
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
