You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
