I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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