that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
