SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
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Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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