You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
