she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize