If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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