Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
