come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
