i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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