I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
