belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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