I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
