this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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