my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
