Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
