hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
