Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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