i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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