HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
