May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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