check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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