That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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