sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
