1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
