Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to