Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

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  (917): I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever. http://tfl.nu/rwuq
  Replies (38) Good night (7316) Bad night (793)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend

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  (267): Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend http://tfl.nu/as99
  Replies (21) Good night (5615) Bad night (1122)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense

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  (785): he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense http://tfl.nu/p2yr
  Replies (26) Good night (8560) Bad night (1396)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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  (504): I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1q7d
  Replies (15) Good night (4574) Bad night (985)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.

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  (214): Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2. http://tfl.nu/7wyo
  Replies (7) Good night (2401) Bad night (793)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade

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  (678): i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade http://tfl.nu/l2g0
  Replies (10) Good night (2062) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.

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  (412): He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit. http://tfl.nu/k42l
  Replies (5) Good night (1771) Bad night (876)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!

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  (253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc
  Replies (12) Good night (673) Bad night (1735)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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  (818): I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record http://tfl.nu/mbk0
  Replies (5) Good night (1262) Bad night (588)
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  (916): View more from California

  Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold

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  (916): Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold http://tfl.nu/79ln
  Replies (14) Good night (926) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?

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  (703): Is it possible to break your brain with drugs? http://tfl.nu/145b
  Replies (7) Good night (405) Bad night (557)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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  (586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"

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  (775): I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!" http://tfl.nu/w4fg
  Replies (0) Good night (1003) Bad night (348)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster

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  (336): Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster http://tfl.nu/y7nw
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...

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  (913): my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball... http://tfl.nu/m00r
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (201)

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