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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Intervention is following me on twitter.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wow.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

  Fav 9 8931 1219

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

  Fav 25 5930 1503

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?

  Fav 17 4256 1545

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  Did everyone make it back alive?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You say that with such hope.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is that a no?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.

  Fav 7 2711 944

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!

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• (813): View more from Florida

  We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.

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