someone get that fucking seahorse.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.