Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.