Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem

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  (570): Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem http://tfl.nu/c9xv
  Replies (14) Good night (926) Bad night (2705)
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  (209): View more from California

  this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.

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  (209): this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not. http://tfl.nu/74g7
  Replies (27) Good night (9650) Bad night (838)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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  (204): Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments http://tfl.nu/8aia
  Replies (9) Good night (4425) Bad night (1306)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.

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  (228): Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer. http://tfl.nu/k59r
  Replies (6) Good night (3875) Bad night (1057)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy

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  (904): I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy http://tfl.nu/pgsd
  Replies (2) Good night (2563) Bad night (1093)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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  (208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind. http://tfl.nu/h3pw
  Replies (8) Good night (5215) Bad night (1044)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.

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  (570): Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days. http://tfl.nu/pn6d
  Replies (4) Good night (1207) Bad night (585)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong

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  (512): Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong http://tfl.nu/wvqv
  Replies (14) Good night (2931) Bad night (655)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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  (347): I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick. http://tfl.nu/dk06
  Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (619)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight

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  (516): I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight http://tfl.nu/tjyz
  Replies (0) Good night (1080) Bad night (432)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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  (404): Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it? (717): Twice... http://tfl.nu/e2vh
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (451)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.

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  (256): I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though. http://tfl.nu/tmsk
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this

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  (774): It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this http://tfl.nu/0f23
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (782)
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  (562): View more from California

  I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"

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  (562): I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am" http://tfl.nu/p2nz
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (302)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat

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  (214): I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat http://tfl.nu/en4k
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (308)

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