All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
