I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize