Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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(317): View more from Indiana

she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(212): View more from New York

I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.

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