Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.