I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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