I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
