If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
