If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
