Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
there is glitter all over my balls
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