Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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