he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
