strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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