Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
