i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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