Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
