why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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