So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
