But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
