rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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