Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
