My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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