My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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