Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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