Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've blown a few things in my day
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
