Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
