perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
