Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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