Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I understand Curling. That high.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
