Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
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Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
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