Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
