He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
