So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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