im drinking this country out of the recession.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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