when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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